"Fake it" till you "Make it"

I got some really beautiful messages recently about how I have inspired others, messages that meant the world to me and completely caught me off guard & I'm sooo keeping as my own inspiration!! But I wanted to admit that though I may come across as if I have it all together? I absolutely don't!! I just tend to focus on the good in my life and don't dwell on the hard times, but it doesn't mean I don't have any... But I decided in light of how I might come across I wanted to share what helps me sometimes...

Sometimes I feel unbelievably shy and awkward.  Family and close friends who know me well, and of course my children, are about the only ones who get to see me when I am sometimes miserable, moaning, grumpy, tired, fed up and feeling vulnerable.  I'm no different to anyone else!! Everyone has these times.... I have challenges with health, finances and family life.... I sometimes wonder am I doing enough? What else should I or could I be doing? What am I doing wrong? When will life stop making things hard?  Where am I gonna find the time? There's no way on earth I'm alone when I think this way... but thing is that for me I don't let it last... I manage to pick myself up quite quickly.  I've always been an optimist and my general baseline is "Happy" (Oh insert Pharell Williams song here!! I'm inspired to dance lol) Sometimes all I need is a good sleep or a time to distract myself & hey presto it's back to my baseline... Ok so there's actually a whole labyrinth of things that help me here, but I want so share what I do when facing a challenge...

When I'm facing a bit of an uphill battle or having to take something on that I'm not so sure about, whether it's a speaking up in a meeting, or attending an activity alone or even going on a first date (yes that last one is a whole other blog post in it's own right ha ha ha) I too feel "how am I supposed to do this"... My trick is a simple one but it works for me.  I internalise the fear, uncertainty, the awkwardness & PRETEND they're not real... I pretend I'm confident, I pretend I believe in myself, I pretend that I'm not cringing inside lol....

In other words : 

I fake it till I make it...

After a little time pretending, I slowly let go of the internalised feelings and they are but a dot on the horizon... and I begin to actually feel confident and sure of myself.  It takes practice,  I've been at this a long time.  It's not so much like the "Mask" I had before.  I'll admit I'm feeling less than 100%, it's not about hiding it, it's about tricking myself into being positive and optimistic.  I've used this technique so much so that I won't let anything stand in my way... I'll still feel fear, awkwardness and uncertainty, I'll still NOT wanna do it... but now it's just as easy to feel strong as it is to feel afraid!!! And feeling strong feels so much better!! 

Every little achievement and every little victory, gets held strong in memory and stored then to use again as inspiration and belief... 

I can look back and remember how I faked it... and now, I'm starting to make it... I've a confidence and belief in myself that I never knew I could have!! The sky's the limit

Luv & Bubbles ♥♥♥

Cheer yourself on...

So it's no secret I've had a tough year after going through a separation... This blog is not about my life in that sense, and not a place for me to vent, so don't worry that's not where I'm going with this... But I started the blog to share what inspires me, warts and all, and I want to write about the difficult times too.

It dawned on me today after speaking with an old friend that I've come a long way.  I've learned so much about myself, my family and my life.  I've held fast to the belief that through hard times, through mistakes you can learn your biggest lessons!!!  But too often we are our own worst critics.  Is it an Irish thing? Maybe... who knows?  But in almost a pre-emptive strike we will barrage ourselves internally with criticism.  I don't think anyone need "judge" or "bitch" about some of us realistically lol, we're probably gonna do it 10 times worse in our own head!!  Ok, so I know I'm not speaking for everyone, mainly for myself, but I've met so many people of late who are similar that I wonder how many of us do this to ourselves and in fact now I don't actually feel quite so alone in my self criticism.  But what's different now is that instead of cutting myself up, I want to try stop this pattern for myself, I'm gonna remind myself that I have a pool of personal experiences to inspire me and a wealth of lessons learned to know there's more to take on board!

Thru the last year I've faced a variety of challenges... None more difficult than lately, trying to figure out who am I now I'm out there on my own.   I'm not finished with what life's got to teach me either... I've a long way to go!! More challenges to face, more lessons to learn and probably more mistakes to make.  Truth be told, I've been quite independent all along on a practical level, but what I'm talking about is the hard stuff... the emotional "stuff" 

I could write a list the length of my arm, but it would only be the tip of the iceberg of what we all go thru in this crazy journey of "life" and it wouldn't necessarily ring clear with many....  Why?... Well my own challenges are simply that... 

My Own  

What I struggle with is not necessarily what the next person struggles with.  Even with how one person deals with something can be almost alien to how someone else does!
We all have "baggage", we all have "tough times"  But you know what? For me, as tough as they are, as heart wrenching some of my worst moments have been to me, managing to pull myself up or learning how to deal with whatever was in my path should inspire me to keep going strong, and support me over the next hurdle...  

It's time I cheered myself on... Will you cheer yourself on??

Luv & bubbles ♥♥♥