Cheer yourself on...

So it's no secret I've had a tough year after going through a separation... This blog is not about my life in that sense, and not a place for me to vent, so don't worry that's not where I'm going with this... But I started the blog to share what inspires me, warts and all, and I want to write about the difficult times too.

It dawned on me today after speaking with an old friend that I've come a long way.  I've learned so much about myself, my family and my life.  I've held fast to the belief that through hard times, through mistakes you can learn your biggest lessons!!!  But too often we are our own worst critics.  Is it an Irish thing? Maybe... who knows?  But in almost a pre-emptive strike we will barrage ourselves internally with criticism.  I don't think anyone need "judge" or "bitch" about some of us realistically lol, we're probably gonna do it 10 times worse in our own head!!  Ok, so I know I'm not speaking for everyone, mainly for myself, but I've met so many people of late who are similar that I wonder how many of us do this to ourselves and in fact now I don't actually feel quite so alone in my self criticism.  But what's different now is that instead of cutting myself up, I want to try stop this pattern for myself, I'm gonna remind myself that I have a pool of personal experiences to inspire me and a wealth of lessons learned to know there's more to take on board!

Thru the last year I've faced a variety of challenges... None more difficult than lately, trying to figure out who am I now I'm out there on my own.   I'm not finished with what life's got to teach me either... I've a long way to go!! More challenges to face, more lessons to learn and probably more mistakes to make.  Truth be told, I've been quite independent all along on a practical level, but what I'm talking about is the hard stuff... the emotional "stuff" 

I could write a list the length of my arm, but it would only be the tip of the iceberg of what we all go thru in this crazy journey of "life" and it wouldn't necessarily ring clear with many....  Why?... Well my own challenges are simply that... 

My Own  

What I struggle with is not necessarily what the next person struggles with.  Even with how one person deals with something can be almost alien to how someone else does!
We all have "baggage", we all have "tough times"  But you know what? For me, as tough as they are, as heart wrenching some of my worst moments have been to me, managing to pull myself up or learning how to deal with whatever was in my path should inspire me to keep going strong, and support me over the next hurdle...  

It's time I cheered myself on... Will you cheer yourself on??

Luv & bubbles ♥♥♥

The joy of Laughter...

Have you ever had a moment of pure utter giggling?? you know the type I'm talking about... Where you just can't catch your breath... Where you have to cross your legs (so to speak lol) I've had quite a few moments over the years like that, and funny, I thought of them last night as I listened to my two daughters playing together... Boy did it lift my spirits... They both had the type of laugh that makes you smile immediately, you know the type? No holds barred, deep to the core, giggling... I was afraid to even record it on my phone for fear it would stop and I would miss even a little!! So I sat on the top step of the stairs, smiling to myself, listening to this joyous sounds, marking a magic moment between two little girls as they played a silly silly game... That deep rooted laughter that you can't replicate.... Awwww.... glorious!!

There's one particular moment from my own past that really stands out in my mind as I sit there soaking up the giggles of my girls... My brother, who I don't speak to as often as I should, rang me one night out of the blue! I was delighted to hear from him, especially after I realised why he was ringing!  He had proposed to his then girlfriend (who is now delightedly my sister in law) and she had accepted.  What a joyous occasion, wonderful news, but.... The poor guy wasn't able to tell me!!!

What? Why? I hear you ask... well, whether it's because we're siblings or not, I don't know...  but my brother is one of those people who can unknowingly get me into one of those fits of giggles!!! I'm not always alone in it either, bless him, he's got it as bad as me. Ever since we were kids and as far back as I can remember, we would out of the blue start laughing at something simple, that realistically only deserved a little chuckle... but no... both he and me would be off & there would be no stopping us!!!

So.... here he was, ringing me to tell me the wonderful news of his engagement.  He had just got off the phone telling his twin, my sister, who is named Elaine (you'll understand why I've told you her name in a moment).  So, it was then time to call me, the big sister to share the news... OMG I'm giggling to myself here thinking about it... So the conversation starts : 

"Hi Clare, it's Elaine here..." 

Of course, I laughed, he'd obviously been thinking of Elaine as he'd just talked to her and obviously mixed up his own name with hers in a split moment of confusion, (well in fairness, we've all been there before in one way or the other lol) but well, in that moment of me laughing... he then started laughing, then I laughed more, then he laughed more... AND WE WERE OFF....

I'm not even joking, five solid minutes, literally, five solid minutes, both me and my younger brother were breaking our hearts laughing.  From moments of no sound as we gasped for breath between the fits of giggles... to moments of ROARING with laughter, each of us, unwittingly egging each other on, spiralling into a mess of giggles.... Eventually he had to tell me he'd ring me back, but I calmed myself and pushed him to go ahead.... well... when I heard the news, I went from fit of giggles to tears of joy... and yes, we managed to actually talk eventually lol....  

But that five minutes of crazy giggling, where we couldn't catch our breath, will stay with me for a long long time...

Yes, trying to explain those moments to someone after the fact, you do sound a little NUTS!! But flip it, I hope you understand, and in fact I'm now gonna hope for more, and embrace the sillyness.  You see it's times like these that end up being way too far apart as we grow older!!! Why we feel we need to curb our enthusiasm is beyond me.  Nope, from here on in, I'm gonna make a point of stopping whatever it is I'm doing and listening to my children laugh uncontrollably, I'm gonna embrace those moments of giggling for myself when they come by and cherish them...

Life can be so serious sometimes, which is in point why I haven't blogged for a while, and difficult times can really get you down... But then again sometimes, out of the blue, a precious moment of sillyness can bring you right back to life again... 

Luv & bubbles ♥♥♥

PS : I dedicate this post to my amazing brother, who since childhood, though we don't see each other often enough as adults, has been a rock, a friend, a beacon of reason, and the best giggling buddy EVER!! Love ya bro xxx