"Fake it" till you "Make it"

I got some really beautiful messages recently about how I have inspired others, messages that meant the world to me and completely caught me off guard & I'm sooo keeping as my own inspiration!! But I wanted to admit that though I may come across as if I have it all together? I absolutely don't!! I just tend to focus on the good in my life and don't dwell on the hard times, but it doesn't mean I don't have any... But I decided in light of how I might come across I wanted to share what helps me sometimes...

Sometimes I feel unbelievably shy and awkward.  Family and close friends who know me well, and of course my children, are about the only ones who get to see me when I am sometimes miserable, moaning, grumpy, tired, fed up and feeling vulnerable.  I'm no different to anyone else!! Everyone has these times.... I have challenges with health, finances and family life.... I sometimes wonder am I doing enough? What else should I or could I be doing? What am I doing wrong? When will life stop making things hard?  Where am I gonna find the time? There's no way on earth I'm alone when I think this way... but thing is that for me I don't let it last... I manage to pick myself up quite quickly.  I've always been an optimist and my general baseline is "Happy" (Oh insert Pharell Williams song here!! I'm inspired to dance lol) Sometimes all I need is a good sleep or a time to distract myself & hey presto it's back to my baseline... Ok so there's actually a whole labyrinth of things that help me here, but I want so share what I do when facing a challenge...

When I'm facing a bit of an uphill battle or having to take something on that I'm not so sure about, whether it's a speaking up in a meeting, or attending an activity alone or even going on a first date (yes that last one is a whole other blog post in it's own right ha ha ha) I too feel "how am I supposed to do this"... My trick is a simple one but it works for me.  I internalise the fear, uncertainty, the awkwardness & PRETEND they're not real... I pretend I'm confident, I pretend I believe in myself, I pretend that I'm not cringing inside lol....

In other words : 

I fake it till I make it...

After a little time pretending, I slowly let go of the internalised feelings and they are but a dot on the horizon... and I begin to actually feel confident and sure of myself.  It takes practice,  I've been at this a long time.  It's not so much like the "Mask" I had before.  I'll admit I'm feeling less than 100%, it's not about hiding it, it's about tricking myself into being positive and optimistic.  I've used this technique so much so that I won't let anything stand in my way... I'll still feel fear, awkwardness and uncertainty, I'll still NOT wanna do it... but now it's just as easy to feel strong as it is to feel afraid!!! And feeling strong feels so much better!! 

Every little achievement and every little victory, gets held strong in memory and stored then to use again as inspiration and belief... 

I can look back and remember how I faked it... and now, I'm starting to make it... I've a confidence and belief in myself that I never knew I could have!! The sky's the limit

Luv & Bubbles ♥♥♥

A "cool" act of kindness...

Ever have a day where you take yourself off on a whim and see where the mood takes you? Well... I was craving a bit of "me" time recently & decided a nice long walk with my dog Poppy was in order!... We jumped in the car and just drove! The sun was beaming, not a cloud in the sky and there was a kind of holiday feel in the air... So where's best to keep that feeling going? The beach of course! Absolute heaven....

One of my favourite things on a day like this, after melting in the sun & walking miles on the sandy beaches, was to have an ice cream to cool down, never mind the fact I've a ridiculous sweet tooth lol.  But... there was a festival on the beach this day & the place was packed!!  The queues were soooo long and the hustle and bustle of the crowds had me anxious about waiting in line for an ice cream!! Poppy is a nervous little thing.... Ok wait, she's not actually a little dog lol, she's not even a medium sized dog!! She's a big dog ha ha.... but she's very nervous around crowds and I wasn't sure how she'd react to standing in line with me while I waited my turn... I figured I'd give it a go, 'cause I didn't just "want" an ice cream lol, I "needed" an ice cream... ha ha
Got to the top of the queue, got my 99... Even got some sprinkles on it after a bit of a flirt with the driver!! (yes I do realise he offers them to everyone, but I'm gonna go with the fact I felt special!!) I turned to walk away, mouth watering and then it happened....

My ice cream fell off the cone!!!

DEVASTATED...

I barely had a sliver of ice cream just on the top of the very dry cone!! What could I do? I had to walk away as Poppy was ready to dive straight into the dollop of ice cream in the sand... I couldn't queue again! Yes I could've gone to the top and explained, but I just wanted to get outta there... I was gutted lol...  I walked a little bit down the beach, and plonked myself at the base of the sand dunes... I set up a drink for Poppy and proceeded to eat my practically dry cone!! feeling particularly sorry for myself I must add ha ha ha

I sat quietly soaking up the sun, while Poppy sat, almost on guard, beside me.  After a little while, I noticed a man approaching with a big smile as if he knew me... I looked around thinking there surely was someone actually behind me he was coming over to, but nope, just the dunes reaching up to the skyline... As he got closer he put his hand out towards me with, wait for it, a new ice cream cone!!! I couldn't quite believe it... He had been in the queue with his family and saw my tragedy, he told me that the look of devastation on my face broke his and his kids hearts & they just had to do something about it... This lovely man and his family went out of their way, to not only buy me an ice cream, but to traipse down the beach, looking for me too... I can't begin to explain how big my smile was and how overwhelmed I was... It's only an ice cream, I know that, but the gesture? That's BIG...

Thankfully, there are still people out there who are willing to go that extra mile... How often have we all been lost in our own little world and missed an opportunity to do something randomly kind for someone... Whoever you are, I wanted to thank you again... Your kindness instilled a fresh sense of joy and I went on about my day with a spring in my step!! 

Not forgetting as a result, that was, in fact, the nicest ice cream cone I've ever had ha ha ha!!!

Luv & bubbles ♥♥♥