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Monday 25 August 2014

"Fake it" till you "Make it"

I got some really beautiful messages recently about how I have inspired others, messages that meant the world to me and completely caught me off guard & I'm sooo keeping as my own inspiration!! But I wanted to admit that though I may come across as if I have it all together? I absolutely don't!! I just tend to focus on the good in my life and don't dwell on the hard times, but it doesn't mean I don't have any... But I decided in light of how I might come across I wanted to share what helps me sometimes...

Sometimes I feel unbelievably shy and awkward.  Family and close friends who know me well, and of course my children, are about the only ones who get to see me when I am sometimes miserable, moaning, grumpy, tired, fed up and feeling vulnerable.  I'm no different to anyone else!! Everyone has these times.... I have challenges with health, finances and family life.... I sometimes wonder am I doing enough? What else should I or could I be doing? What am I doing wrong? When will life stop making things hard?  Where am I gonna find the time? There's no way on earth I'm alone when I think this way... but thing is that for me I don't let it last... I manage to pick myself up quite quickly.  I've always been an optimist and my general baseline is "Happy" (Oh insert Pharell Williams song here!! I'm inspired to dance lol) Sometimes all I need is a good sleep or a time to distract myself & hey presto it's back to my baseline... Ok so there's actually a whole labyrinth of things that help me here, but I want so share what I do when facing a challenge...

When I'm facing a bit of an uphill battle or having to take something on that I'm not so sure about, whether it's a speaking up in a meeting, or attending an activity alone or even going on a first date (yes that last one is a whole other blog post in it's own right ha ha ha) I too feel "how am I supposed to do this"... My trick is a simple one but it works for me.  I internalise the fear, uncertainty, the awkwardness & PRETEND they're not real... I pretend I'm confident, I pretend I believe in myself, I pretend that I'm not cringing inside lol....

In other words : 


I fake it till I make it...

After a little time pretending, I slowly let go of the internalised feelings and they are but a dot on the horizon... and I begin to actually feel confident and sure of myself.  It takes practice,  I've been at this a long time.  It's not so much like the "Mask" I had before.  I'll admit I'm feeling less than 100%, it's not about hiding it, it's about tricking myself into being positive and optimistic.  I've used this technique so much so that I won't let anything stand in my way... I'll still feel fear, awkwardness and uncertainty, I'll still NOT wanna do it... but now it's just as easy to feel strong as it is to feel afraid!!! And feeling strong feels so much better!! 

Every little achievement and every little victory, gets held strong in memory and stored then to use again as inspiration and belief... 

I can look back and remember how I faked it... and now, I'm starting to make it... I've a confidence and belief in myself that I never knew I could have!! The sky's the limit

Luv & Bubbles ♥♥♥

1 comment:

joanne finneran said...

Hi clare, beautifully written by a beautiful person outside and in. Definitely an inspiration. Xxx jo jo